Out of Sight, Out of Shame: The Users Who Only Show Up When They Need You


Have you ever noticed how some people only remember your number when they're in a crisis or need a favor? One minute you're their savior, the next minute—poof—they vanish like a magician's final act. No check-in. No thank you. No reciprocity. Just silence… until the next time they need something again.

Let’s talk about the “convenient connections”—those who treat relationships like vending machines: insert a request, get what they want, and disappear until their pockets are jingling with need again.

🚩 The Red Flags of a "Need-Only" Relationship

You know the ones:

  • They only message you with “Heyyy” followed by “Can I ask a favor?”

  • When you reach out just to check in, they give short answers or ignore you altogether.

  • They suddenly become your best friend when they’re broke, bored, or in some kind of bind.

  • After you’ve helped them out? Radio silence. No follow-up. No gratitude. Just ghosted.

Let’s call it what it is: emotional looting. These people show up with an empty basket, take what they want from your energy, your time, your kindness, and once they’re full—they leave you drained.

🎭 You're Not Their Friend, You're Their Service

And it hurts—not just because of what they take, but because of the illusion they sell. They make you believe the bond is real. They flatter. They pretend. But it’s all transactional. And you’re left wondering if they ever actually cared.

Guess what? They didn’t. They cared about what you could do for them.

🧠 The Psychology Behind It

People like this are often stuck in survival mode or have developed transactional habits from environments where relationships were always conditional. But here’s the catch: that’s not your problem to fix.

You’re not a free therapist, a cash dispenser, or a last-minute Uber driver for emotional emergencies. You’re a human being who deserves mutuality, not manipulation.

✊ Why You Need to Draw the Line

If you keep giving, they'll keep taking. These folks don’t change just because you keep showing up for them. They change when they no longer get what they want so easily.

It’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to distance yourself.
It’s okay to protect your energy.

Being kind doesn't mean being used. Being generous doesn't mean being drained. And being available doesn't mean being taken for granted.

🔄 Switch the Script

Instead of waiting for them to change, change the access they have to you. Let them feel what it’s like not to have the luxury of your support on tap. Because sometimes silence is the only language they understand.

🧡 Keep Loving, Just Be Wiser

Not everyone is like this. Don’t let the users turn you cold. Just learn to spot them early, love with boundaries, and give with discernment.

Because at the end of the day, it’s better to walk alone than to walk with someone who only shows up when they’re empty and vanishes the moment, they’re full.


Have you dealt with someone like this? Drop your story in the comments or share this post to remind others they’re not alone—and that boundaries are a form of self-respect. ✊🏾🧱

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