Be Kind. Not Nice. And Stop Paying for It With Your Peace


There’s a quiet exhaustion a lot of good people are carrying right now.

Not the loud, dramatic kind.
The subtle kind.

The kind that comes from always being the reliable one.
The understanding one.
The one who shows up.
The one who says “it’s fine” when it isn’t.

You’re kind.
You care.
You don’t want conflict.

And somehow… you’re always the one stretching, bending, explaining, accommodating.

If that sounds familiar, this question matters:

When did being kind start costing you your peace?

The Lie We Were Sold

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that:

  • Being nice = being good

  • Saying yes = being supportive

  • Explaining yourself = being respectful

But here’s the truth most people learn too late:

Niceness without boundaries doesn’t make you good.
It makes you available.

And availability gets abused — even by people who don’t mean to.

This Isn’t About Becoming Cold

Let’s be clear.

This isn’t about being rude.
It isn’t about shutting people out.
It isn’t about becoming bitter or hard.

It’s about learning the difference between:

  • Kindness that’s grounded

  • And niceness that’s self-sacrificing

That distinction changes everything.

Why I Wrote Kind Is Not Nice

I wrote Kind Is Not Nice for people who:

  • Carry more than they’re ever credited for

  • Are tired of being “understood” but not respected

  • Feel guilty for wanting space, rest, or clarity

  • Know something has to change — but don’t want to lose who they are

This book isn’t motivational hype.
It’s not pop psychology.

It’s a grounded, honest look at:

  • Why capable people are often overused

  • How to say no without guilt or long explanations

  • How to handle pushback without folding

  • Why peace is a form of power

  • How to lead yourself instead of managing everyone else

If This Is You, Don’t Ignore It

If you’ve ever:

  • Said yes and felt resentment later

  • Explained yourself too much

  • Felt drained after “being nice”

  • Wondered why people keep crossing lines with you

This book will hit home.

Want to Read?

If this post made you pause — even a little — that’s not an accident.

I’m inviting you to:

Purchase the book (Kind Is Not Nice) on Amazon 

Read a few pages.
See if it speaks to you.

Because here’s the thing:

You don’t need to become less kind.
You need to stop being nice at your own expense.

Be kind.
Not nice.

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